the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
