Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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