I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
