This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
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