i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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