She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
