i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
