HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
