the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
