Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
