He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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