So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
