mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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