She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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