i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
A+ Viking dick
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
