My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Farmville is her only friend.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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