were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
