I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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