No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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