hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
