Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
