Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
