Come see our sink grown plant.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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