Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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