8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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