oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
