This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
