He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
