so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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