His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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