We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
