He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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