your parents love me but you hate me
Already got asked if we're dating
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
