Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
