literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
