At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
