theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
