Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Farmville is her only friend.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
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