So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
