i'm lost and i look like a hooker
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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