my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
