you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
