Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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