Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
