He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
there's paper in my vomit.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
