I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
