You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
