I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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