singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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