He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
