whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
