Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize